As I sit in my rocking chair, listening to some soft panpipe music with closed eyes, my internal eyes open to many pictures and images from the semester that is gone by. The music is kind of nostalgic, and somehow I feel sad to think that this class won’t be there anymore. I never really realized that this was so important for me.
When I look back at the semester, thinking about the discussions at class and the black board and the books and articles that I read, what is most striking to me is the shared wisdom. That looks like the theme of our theology class through this semester. The shared wisdom started with the meaningful faith practices we shared at the beginning of the class. It progressed through the framework of meaning essays that we shared with a partner and on the black board, and climaxed on the theological refection presentations. We realized that we look at reality through different windows of experience and cultural backgrounds, but still shared a common vision for future.
Reading the vignettes from the book of Cooper-White, I was touched by how vulnerable we all are. All of us carry some brokenness within us, but we still have a desire to touch and heal. While acting with Tracy the story of Terrence, I realized how I could easily become a Terrence. I could extend the question of inappropriateness in a therapeutic relationship to my ordinary relationships, and see how I was manipulating my relationships for my own selfish goals. I do speak about greater life for people; but I sometimes stifle that life in others through my apparently kind behavior. I realized the need of talking about this with my own counselor. That is the first part: to be open to the wisdom of others.
From a group of strangers who would meet once a week for a few hours discussing strange ideas, our class changed into a community that looked for ways to spend more time together. The transformation was essentially because we shared our frameworks of meaning with one another, and realized that we could trust this group with secrets that tortured us. This was our defining moment- when we realized that the pain and hurt of one person triggers another and this can bring healing and reconciliation.
One of the questions for discussion which did not attract too many posts on the black board is ‘What is pastoral about pastoral counseling’. Was the answer to this question too difficult? Does it mean that we all came to study pastoral counseling without knowing what it is? Several times I had to explain to friends and relatives how my course was different from the ‘ordinary’ counseling. Well, I was not too sure if this was correct, but I tried to focus on the fact that we give importance to the spiritual dimension of each individual. I sometimes got some glances of unbelief. Is spirituality really important in dealing with mental health?
Part of the answer to this question came from an article by Aponte that I read recently. It dealt with how sometimes the only source of strength for poor people is their spirituality and how most of the time the therapists fail to recognize and make use of this strength. It was a very compelling argument. Then we experienced how this spirituality can make a difference in the most crippling environments through the sharing of some of our friends in the class. An image of God as loving and forgiving makes a difference to our overall world view. It strengthens us to look beyond our struggles and failures. Maybe we can’t change the oppressing situation, but we can change the way we perceive ourselves in it. I realized that to have this hope was the pastoral dimension of pastoral counseling.
In one of my posts on ‘what is pastoral about…’, I wrote about Patch Adams who had some revolutionary ideas on health care. Health is not just the absence of sickness; it is about happiness, contentment. And we can find happiness and contentment even if we are sick. Health care is not just about treating one’s symptoms; it is about creating an atmosphere of happiness. How do we do that? Well, Patch had his own way of doing it. And that is called commitment. I think that can also be called pastoral.
What has theology to do with all this? The question again is what is theology in the ‘theology for pastoral counselor’? Of course we read Browning’s take on different psychological movements vis-à-vis theology. What I especially liked was his five dimensions of practical reason. I believe that theology is not a theory up in the air. It is not a transcendental meditation on who God is. For me theology begins from the basic experience of faith of the people. God is not sleeping. He is active especially in the struggles of his people. Theology is an effort to find this God who is struggling with the poor and the oppressed. It is something very practical, not just theoretical. And this practical experience begins from a vision. It is this vision that gives a direction to our actions and thoughts. Our human tendencies and needs may influence us. Our social and environmental contexts may limit us. But if we are committed to our vision, our practice is in the right direction.
I think it is this vision that contributes the theology part of our pastoral counseling. When I presented my reflection on hunger in the midst of plenty, my vision was of a world where there is justice and equality, where the resources are shared equitably. That is the Jesus paradigm of the kingdom. If he envisioned that, then it has to become a reality. It is possible. Only, we need to make it happen.
I think this was a great class, not because of the theology that we discussed, but because of the vulnerability we shared. I hope it makes us better humans, if not better pastoral counselors. I miss this class.
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