Last night I called up Sr Tessy to wish her on her feast day. She was happy. During the conversation she mentioned that Shiju went to see her. I was happy to hear about Shiju because I have no news of him for a long time. Well, I was also wondering how Shiju would react to the fact that I am in US for studies. Would he find it a watering down on my commitment to the poor?
Well, it looks like he did. It seems when Tessy told him that I am in US, his reaction was, "Eh, he went to serve the poor and now enjoying in America?" I am not really surprised, though I think I am a little hurt. I am not sure it is really a hurt or a feeling of guilt. Did I do something wrong by coming here? I do enjoy my stay here and the comforts American life offers. And it really looks like a watering down on my commitment to the poor. But I am not here just to enjoy these comforts. I am here for a mission, and it is to prepare myself for a ministry that I believe would ultimately help me in my commitment to the poor. I am not going to stay here to enjoy this life, but I am quite sure that once my study is over I will be back to where I come from.
I know that Shiju is doing a great work, and I appreciate his commitment. But surely our lives are different. I surely share his concerns, but not his life style. My temperaments and gifts are different from his. I think that is the only response to his astonishment. I have not really watered down my commitment; in fact I am here because of my commitment, because my Provincial has sent me. Right now my commitment is to do my study well, so that it reinforces my commitment and my work for the poor. Ah, I feel better.
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